And through the hardships, it was so often difficult to see the point in enduring... the light at the end... the fact that fruit WOULD come. I just had to keep going where God called me, doing what He asked of me, clinging to Him for strength and hope and for dear life. I knew that there really was no other option. That He had called me here and that the only option (at least, the only one that I wanted to take) was to follow. To go. To do. To give. To serve. To endure. Even when it was HARD. I am not and certainly was not flawless in these areas. I complained. I moaned. I questioned Him. I questioned others. But in the end, more or less, clinging to Him, I somehow managed to endure. To get involved in the areas where He wanted me to, to lay down MY self so that He could use me in the lives of others.... Whether or not every step along the way was pretty or perfect.
And now that time has passed, I can see some of the fruits of where He has called me and where He is using me. To name a few: My relationships with my students at Hopac (oh, how I love those kids!). My role as an art teacher, bringing out the innate creativity within each of my students. My Saturdays volunteering at a local village ("William's Village") helping to run Bible lessons/crafts/games days with the kids. Spending time at a local orphanage and showing those children that they are *loved*. Investing in the lives of the 2 ladies who help with cleaning and other duties around our house and helping to give them a sense of dignity and worth. WyldLife with the Hopac 6th-8th graders and my relationships with those kids- pointing them to Jesus. Studying Swahili and finally being able to carry on basic conversations with the local people and children. Taking advantage of the simplicity of life here and reading through about half of the Bible this year (never have I read so much in such depth in such a short period of time). Making friends with the local Bajaji-drivers, the duka (shop) owners, the "regulars" that hang around our street. My involvement with Karama (which I am going to be on staff with full-time next year! more to come on this soon!) and bringing dignity and sustainable income into the lives of African artisans. My Service Learning group with Hopac students where we serve in local schools doing arts & crafts activities with them, bringing joy & creativity into these children's lives. Helping to get a previously non-existent Art department up and running at Hopac. And these are all just the *start* of ministries that will be continued next year.
Yes, God has done a LOT and worked a lot in and through me this year. It's been so hard to adequately blog over the course of the year as there has always been SO much going on and SO much to process. One of my hopes & goals for this summer (which I'll be spending at home, then coming back here in mid-August) is to blog more about my experiences here over the course of this year. I think I will be able to more adequately reflect on the experiences I've had once I step away from them all. (I also think that will be one of the only ways for me to emotionally & therapeutically get through the difficult transition & culture shock of being back in America!)
Again, My time here and my actions here have not always been pretty or perfect. I've messed up, complained, fallen down (haha, literally- many times on this terrain in Africa while I've been running!). But HE has picked me up through all of it. HE has continued to lead me. HE has continued to bless me and to use me. HE has been my strength when I have been nothing but weakness.
I look back at the 2 marathons I've run.... and neither of them were "pretty" all the way through. They were ANYTHING but that. My times weren't what I wanted them to be, mistakes happened, unexpected issues arose, PAIN ensued.... That first marathon I ran was by far the hardest- and easily ugliest- accomplishment I've ever attempted. But as I DID endure through those ugly, difficult, painful (injury-inducing!) 26.2 miles, I was able to cross the finish line and know that I had accomplished the purpose I set out for. It didn't always look the way I'd hoped it would look and my results at the end were not all that I'd hoped they would be, but the endurance paid off and I was able to reap the benefits that come with that amazing finish-line "victory".
And though that marathon victory was simply a personal one, I can so easily relate it to the endurance of this year. My experiences have not always been pretty. I have made mistakes and unexpected issues have arisen. Things have been difficult and painful. They have felt like they were injury-inducing at times. But in the end, God has accomplished His purposes in the midst of it all. And now that I am standing in that open, spacious place on the other side, I am filled with SUCH JOY as I see and feel and experience the blessings of the fruit that has been reaped from what has been sown.
I am currently reading through the book of Acts and this past week I came across the verse, "And the disciples were filled with joy and with the Holy Spirit." (Acts 13:52) That verse has come back to me again and again this week, as the Lord has filled me with SUCH joy in the areas and ministries He's called me into. And His Spirit has continually filled me as I walk into the places He has for me. What more could I ask for? If this is the result of following hard after Him, of suffering for His name, of enduring through the hardships He calls me to.... I want more of it. "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces ENDURANCE. And let *endurance* have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." (James 1:2-4)
Endurance having its perfect result. "And the disciples were filled with joy and with the Holy Spirit." Sounds like a pretty perfect result to me.
{with the kids at Kurasini Orphanage.... JOY}
