How Africa Has Changed Me

One of the most common reactions I got when telling people I was moving to Africa last year was, "That experience will completely change your life!"

What I wanted to respond with (but usually refrained from doing so, since I knew my friends' intentions were sincere) was: "My life has ALREADY been changed by Africa. That's why I'm moving there!"

And that was true. My previous short-term trips to Africa HAD changed my life. They had opened up my eyes to the circumstances that the majority of the world lives in, and they left me completely unsatisfied living a comfortable, "cushy" life in America. They had grieved my spirit as I saw the hunger, the need, the orphans, the poverty.... the lack of clean water, health care, regular meals that these people in the majority world live with.

Yes, my life had been changed. And living in America where I had anything and everything (materially) that I could ever want was now totally unsatisfying to me. Repulsive, even. I wanted to boldly declare this to my friends whenever they idealistically remarked how much "Africa would change me". But I didn't. I knew I needed to keep my mouth shut and just come and see.

....

And now I have been here for almost 6 months. I am about to come home for 2 weeks for Christmas, and in looking ahead to this trip home, I see how much Africa HAS changed me. But it hasn't necessarily "given me a bigger heart for the poor" or "opened my eyes up to the poverty in the world." Yes, those are of utmost importance and I wish for everyone to be changed in those ways, but those were the ways I'd already been changed. That's why I moved here. Yes, I will continually be changing in my attitudes, actions, and service toward the poor- for the rest of my life- but the "big" eye openers in those regards had already happened for me.

As I look ahead to these 2 weeks I'll spend at home, though, in my anticipations of how I want to spend my time, I see how much I've changed in OTHER ways. In good ways. In ways that I wasn't expecting.

Before coming here, one of my favorite things to do was go to group dinners at Mi Cocina or big group events where I could see multitudes of friends at a time and carry on 2-3 sentence conversations with each one of them over the course of a night. Now the thoughts of those big group settings overwhelm me and feel so pointless. YES, I want to go to dinner at Mi Cocina. But I want to go with one friend or maybe two, and sit and have hours-long conversations where we talk and share and are real and open with each other. I don't have any desire to be at a large group event where the most I can speak with any given person is 2 or 3 sentences. What is the point of that?

I want to go to Drip Coffee for a delicious cappuccino, but I want to carry on conversations with the baristas and catch up on each others' lives. The same friendly baristas who I've always exchanged polite greetings with but who I'm always too tired on an early morning to say any more to than "I'm doing well. How are you?" Or just too busy and rushed to listen.

In looking ahead to this time, I realize that Africa has changed me greatly. It has made me more RELATIONAL. It has made me LIVE LIFE without an iphone that I'm constantly checking for texts or emails or Facebook notifications. Without the constant bombarding distractions from the media, the stores, the nagging feeling that I need to DO more and HAVE more and SHOP more. It has forced me to get away from this busy-ness and emptiness of life in America and genuinely ENGAGE with everyone I am in contact with. To be fully present and fully aware and thus fully LIVING.

I want my time at home to be full of these meaningful interactions and relationships. None of the emptiness and the shallow pursuits of life in America, and all of the richness of the relationships that I hold there.

No, this is not how I expected Africa to change me. But this is how it has. And I like it. It is good. I wish the Western world knew more of this secret of the joys and fulfillment that simplicity of life brings.... this secret that the majority of the world holds and that gives their life meaning.

I'll be curious to see what my reactions are and how I process things upon actually returning and spending time in America. But for now, this is what I foresee. And I like it.


***

and for the record, the other things I am REALLY looking forward to in America are:

watching a COWBOYS game!
yes, Mi Cocina! and especially in HP Village with all the Christmas lights up!!
COLD weather and Christmas lights and Christmas songs and Christmas movies and (*some of*) the Christmas shopping/store windows/etc. etc.
the Christmas Eve service at Fellowship!! (**the music**)
spending time with my DOG!
curling up on a comfortable SOFA (in a house with a temperature set to my choosing... can't even fathom that right now) and lying there and doing a little bit of nothing for a second (i.e. watching Elf or Love Actually)
sleeping in a BIG comfortable BED!!!
watching a film at Angelika or Magnolia (hopefully a foreign one)
eating Cake Batter frozen yogurt at Yogalicious
RUNNING AT WHITE ROCK!!!!!!!!!! in the cold weather!!! every day! all the way around the lake!!
eating SPINACH SALADS..... BIG ones, every day!!!


I leave in just 5 days.... Oh, I cannot WAIT!!!! :-D