As I am back and trying to transition back from life in Dallas to life in Tanzania (too many extreme contrasts to even try to list!), God has been sweetly speaking to me and reminding me of many truths. Truths which are often easier to grasp here- easier to see and to believe... probably because they often feel so much more necessary to cling to here.
"We must go through many HARDSHIPS to enter the kingdom of God." Acts 14:22
Paul and Barnabas spoke these words to the churches in Galatia after being persecuted and abused there. Paul was stoned and drug out of the city, presumed to be dead. This passage in Acts describes them as being "filled with JOY and the Holy Spirit" (Acts 13:52). It wasn't in living for themselves or in protecting themselves that they found joy or the filling of the Spirit; it was in enduring hardship and pouring out their lives for the sake of Christ. THAT is when they were filled with joy and the Spirit.
As I transition back to my life here in Tanzania, I am once again confronted with all that I must give up and deny in order to fulfill the calling that is on my life here. Honestly, some of what feels 'hardest' for me to give up right now is hard to admit. One of the biggest things? Having pretty, straight, manageable hair. (ugh, this humidity!!) I'm sure that sounds petty- and believe me there are many more hardships here that would sound a lot more "honorable" (the incessant & uncomfortable heat, the power outages, running out of water, missing my friends and family....), but right now this is frankly one of the hardest things for me to let go of. But it's one of the things that I must. When we follow Him, we must be willing to let go of ANYthing and everything to follow Him. Big or small... honorable or petty... nothing is worth holding onto when it comes in the way of following Him.
"If anyone would come after me, he must DENY himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it." Mark 8:34-35
"And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much..." Matthew 19:29
Though it may seem more real for me here in Tanzania to "leave behind houses or brothers or mother" for the sake of Christ... to "lose my life"... it is a calling on all of us. And when we fail to do so, we are not only forsaking Him, but we are deceiving ourselves. We are clinging to our lives, where we will NEVER find life. Not true life. Not the abundant life He offers. It is in dying to ourselves, sacrificing our lives, spending ourselves on behalf of others, where we find true life. Never when we cling to our lives or to what we think will make us happy. It is in giving that we receive. In pouring ourselves out that we are poured into. In sacrificing that we are satisfied.
"If you *spend yourselves* in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. The Lord will guide you always; He will satisfy your needs... You will be like a well-watered garden... you will be called Repairer... Restorer." Isaiah 58:10-12
Pouring myself out? Sacrificing my desires? Giving instead of receiving? The ways of His kingdom are so contrary to how we naturally think and believe. Yet they are TRUTH. And in following them, we find lasting satisfaction.
Jesus came to live as a servant. Nothing about His life was spent to make Himself "happy". He poured out His life... Offered Himself as a continual sacrifice... Endured incredible hardships. And when I experience hardship for His Name and for His sake, I come face to face with HIM. I come to know Him more. I come to experience Him more. I feel His presence more. (1 Peter 4:12-14) .... And He fills my longing soul.
Thank you, Lord, for reminding me of these truths. Thank you for calling me here. And for all that you have entrusted me with.... which is MUCH. May I use the time, resources, responsibilities, relationships, and influence you have put in my life in ways that honor and glorify You. To whom much is given, much is required.... May I live this life worthy of your calling. Thank you for reminding me of these seemingly 'contrary' truths of your Kingdom. In them I find Life, and in them I find YOU.
