Grieve

At the end of 2009 I came across an article that talked about having a theme "Word" for each new year. The premise is that you ask GOD what the word for your coming year is- not that you come up with one on your own. That you let HIM give it to you.... pray about it, seek Him on it, wait for it, seek confirmation on it.... Make sure that the word is from Him and that it is not something you choose or decide on your own. The author of this article had been doing this for years and the "word" would be a central theme to seek out, pray over, work on, strive towards during the year. A word to see what God does with, since it's been given by Him. This author had had words like "seek", "prayer", "trust", "rest".... overall pretty good/positive "themes" that the Lord had given him and that He had thus prayed over and seen God work through in great ways.

I knew when I read this that I wanted to do the same for my coming year. I was really excited at the prospect of God choosing a word for me and all the "warm fuzzies" that would come with it. So I sought to pray to Him to receive this word. And almost instantaneously the word came to me: Grieve. No, this couldn't be it. God couldn't be giving me such a negative, foreboding word. That's not like Him. Surely He has a warm, fuzzy word for me. So I asked Him again.... What is the word for my coming year, Lord? "Grieve." I knew it was what He had given me, though I didn't want it to be. I prayed about it for weeks to make double and triple sure that this was the word He was giving me (believe me, I was giving Him any and every chance I could to give me a different word!), but He just kept continuing to confirm it. I kept hearing the word "grieve" in conversations, and grieve is not typically a common word in my daily life! So, I had it. God's choice word for my year 2010: Grieve.

I didn't know what to expect but had many different fears as to what the year could hold. At the time I had no idea how God could use such a word in such a good way in my life. Grieve. He ended up using this word to bring me to my knees in the year 2010, grieving over the pains of this world which grieve Him.

The orphans who have no one to show them love. His children who go to bed hungry each night. The widows who are sick with no one to care for them. He showed me the importance of letting my heart be broken for what breaks His. And for *choosing* to do so, because it is a choice. I could choose to not think about these things. To keep going to dinner with my friends and shopping for the latest styles and turning my eyes and ears to the pain and suffering in this world. But He doesn't want me to do that. He doesn't want any of us to do that. He wants us to grieve for what grieves Him. To make a choice to do so. And once I did just that, He wouldn't let me forget. He used 2010- my year to "grieve"- to call me to Africa. And He did so by first giving me a word, which then made me choose to look, which then made my heart break, and which then wouldn't let me rest. So that when He did pull on my heart to move to Africa, I didn't try to escape the call. I knew that He wanted me to grieve for what grieves Him, and therefore I needed to care about what and whom He cares about.

I would have never thought this foreboding word "grieve" would mean that He was about to turn the course of my life around... and that He would call me to live in Africa through it.... or that He would give me such a rich life in return.

The year's not over and I will seek to continue to grieve for what grieves Him- and to thus pray for and over those things- but I have learned so much about His heart and about His will already through this. I can't wait to see what word He gives me for 2011. Even if I'm not "excited" about it at first. :)


Some verses associated with grieving:


"Grieve, mourn, and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up." -James 4:9-10

"The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of pleasure." -Eccl. 7:4

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." -Matthew 5:4

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." -Psalm 34:18